I've learned how to stand on my own two feet, but I don't stand alone.

Breakthrough has happened in my life in an incredible way.

For so long now I've been hurting, I've been walking through my life denying the pains inside of me. And no one has given me any type of encouraging advice. I've had to do this all by myself. I've walked through this short season--although it seemed never ending. My Papa showed me, opened my eyes. He brought me out of it all. The night it happened, I will never forget. I was sitting on my couch in my apartment, with my worship on, just resting & waiting on the Lord. I had been in a two week positioning of my heart. And this was the night that I felt the spirit of depression & oppression break off. It happened so suddenly and it felt so amazing, I don't really have words to explain what happened. Other than this, I felt the weight of the world lift off of my soft, gentle, fragile shoulders. I felt the pain in my chest disappear, I felt healing & forgiveness--pure peace fill my heart & my mind, and I felt the joy that I'm known for arise within me. That joy filled every fiber of my being within a moment. I began to laugh--uncontrollably, nor did I want it to stop. I laughed, and I began to praise the Lord in response, whole hearted surrender, thanks and praise fell from my lips over and over again.
I am free.
"Freedom reigns"

This girl has gone through enough, has put herself through enough, has been treating like nothing for too long. And I know who I am, I deserve better, and I have finally realized that. Nothing can hold me back from my Jesus, my amazing Holy Spirit, & my Daddy God. All my joy, my love, my praise, my affection belongs to him.

So yes, I have learned to stand on my own two feet, but I didn't nor will I ever have to do it...ALONE.

Love looks like something.

Love is not wanting, not asking, just patient.
Love is complete selflessness. When the heart has peace, and rests.
Love is content.

Love is when I'm no longer looking for ways to win something, but when in being myself I am me; beautifully.

These Days

I'm so different. Day by day I feel myself changing more. Not only that, but I'm seeing myself discover truly who I am. I suppose when certain important people walk out of your life--you get kinda a rude awakening that forces you to grow, to find yourself, to stand on your own two feet; alone. And honestly it's hard. That's what I'm finding at least. But I'm a fighter. It's written permanently on my wrist. And it's one hundred percent true. I'm more than a conqueror. I'm honestly in this place of "building my wall", building the wall in front of me and not worrying about the chaos going on around me. Because focusing on all that makes my stomach sick, my heart wrenches, my eyes get blurry, my hunger decreases, my ears receive fuzzy reception. Everything just turns to crap.
I'm in this season of fire, joy, and righteousness. Dad is so good. It's working in me, and I'm thankful. These days, I find myself driving more--around my town. Just to explore my own heart and its thoughts. These days, I'm trying recover, I'm in the glorious healing process, I'm in the beautiful romance with the Lord.

These days, I'm learning to love again. As well as being loved again.
These days, I'm a work in progress.